December 14, 2008

mulling …

Filed under: Miscellaneous — J Martin @ 11:11 pm

been thinking a lot. about an upcoming day which makes me feel uneasy. im torn between two choices. one is to leave it as if it’s nothing of my concern and second is to treat it well.

im inclined to ignore it and pretend as if it’s never there. i know what to expect if i choose to ignore it, but i don’t care. like some people say, put yourself ahead before anyone else. but that sounds too selfish. im not selfish. but i don’t want to appear weak and desperate either. i hv my own dignity to keep, and i don’t want to make sacrifice for nothing.

some people tend to be rude and selfish. self-centered. i guess i need to learn that way that could put some pride and confidence up to a good if not excellent level. i’ve been reclusive for some times. and i’ve been quite a magnet for some times too. i don’t want to put that back on the rack, because it will make me a sad, ugly and lonely guy. well, probably i’ll ditch that reclusive habit away for good, because that’s not fun.

need to find a new source of ‘drug’. i’ve been high to the sky few months back because of something. not exactly a drug but it made most of my days. it made me energetic and ‘exhaustless’.

feeling sad all day isn’t good for health. and frowning upon something for a long period isn’t great too. people like to get close with a happy, cheerful and free-willing friend.

probably i’ll just start with a new car …


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